If you run into these struggling singles, take heart: It’s not you, it’s them.
The experts from “Married at First Sight” have seen their share of dating duds. Since 2014, over 75,000 people have applied to be on the Lifetime reality show that finds strangers their perfect love match.
But in a new spinoff, “Married at First Sight: Unmatchables” premiering Wednesday, Pastor Cal Roberson and therapist Viviana Coles are unleashing 16 of the worst of the worst — from conspiracy theorists to clean freaks — and giving them a match-makeover.
The love gurus spend one week with two odd singles, working on breaking their worst dating quirks. At the end, the two loners will head out on a blind date together to practice what they’ve learned.
“We wanted this experience to be like a splash of cold water,” Coles told The Post. “This isn’t like counseling. This is: Let’s get in there, let’s have some very radical intervention and see what sticks by the end of the week.”
Roberson said he hopes to be a “mirror” to the participants, who are all based in Atlanta, helping them reflect on how their own flaws affect their dating life.
“I’ve had friends who say, ‘I can’t find the right person,’ ‘This person has this’ or ‘That person has that.’ It never seems to work out,” he told The Post. “So you have to ask, what is the common denominator? And generally, it’s going to be you.”
The cast members on “Unmatchables” are “an assortment of oddities and weirdness,” said Roberson. “We have one young lady [Evan-Nicole Williams, 24], she interrogates her dates. And so I had to give her a taste of her own medicine.” He sat her down for an FBI-style questioning that made her shed some tears.
“But she also has a penchant for eating on the toilet,” Roberson said. For a fix, Coles employed an etiquette expert to explain why it’s wrong, and some strategically placed “shame” by getting her to question if she feels proud of her actions. “Just having that feedback, we hope that that’s enough for them to realize, ‘OK, I need to stop doing this,’ ” she said.
“We had a serial ghoster. And he actually has ghosted 30 to 40 women, leaving them at the table,” Roberson said of a single named Ervin Coty, 37. You’ll have to watch to see how they tackled his trickery: “We had to pull out the big guns with him.”
Tough love is just what they need. “With a lot of these makeovers, we’re trying to get people accustomed to making a great first impression. Because, believe it or not, there’s an art to dating, an art to presenting yourself,” the pastor said.
But the reckonings could be fun, too: Coles brought one contestant, Ashli Washington, 32, who hadn’t kissed a man in 11 years, to a sex shop and hooked her up with a pair of silicone lips to practice on.
Although everyone was “gung ho” at the start of their therapy, not all the participants were willing to take the blame for their singlehood. Coles remembered an interaction with one female cast member: “I’m pretty sure she cursed under her breath at me. But we’ll see if that makes it on air,” she said.
Not everyone was willing to change: results were “a mixed bag,” said Roberson. “It could take a little bit more time, and maybe more therapy, to actually get to where they need to be.”
Still, “for some, the light did come on,” he said. Coles found the blind dates particularly rewarding to watch: “There’s certain things that they’re learning in the moment. And things are clicking in the moment. And that’s what’s so exciting,” she said.
And while not everyone has a problem with flatulence or believes that the Earth is flat, it’s important to take stock of your habits if you’re struggling to find love. “Friends, family, people who have a vested interest in your happiness, ask them to give you an unedited review of the kind of person you are,” advised Roberson.
It may hurt, but it’s worth it: “You’ve got to be ready for that straightforward kind of talk. It makes all the difference in the world.”
“Married at First Sight: Unmatchables” airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime
Megan Moran, 27
This picky eater only eats chicken nuggets and mac ‘n’ cheese. Men who don’t love her competitive nature won’t fit on her menu.
Ashli Washington, 32
This pastor’s daughter hates the idea of locking lips with someone; Coles calls her “sexually inhibited.” And her codependent relationship with her best friend and roommate, plus her affinity for passing gas, keep suitors far away.
Clyde Jackson, 30
Call him Mr. Clean. This sanitary singleton wants a woman whose house is so tidy he can eat off her floor.
Danielle Haugabrook, 29
This conspiracy theorist is looking for a few different guys to walk across the flat Earth with. She thinks monogamy is a scam, and marriage should involve multiple husbands.
Caleb Russell, 26
Nothing is more attractive to Caleb than himself. No need for small talk, he “doesn’t believe in conversation,” believing his smile is the only thing he’ll need to attract dates.
Xavius Robinson, 24
Although he’s a funeral director, Xavius isn’t attracted to the energy in his dates. He’s drawn to their looks and their smell, and has broken off relationships in the past because of his sensitive schnoz.